💔💔 HOLD UP! 🚨 Just when you thought the world of AI couldn’t get **more cringe**... enter Mark "Zuck the Duck" Zuckerberg 🙈, announcing that Meta won’t be dropping the keys to its superintelligence castle 🏰🤖! That's right, folks, we’re back to 2006 MySpace with this exclusive friends-only list. Zuck's all like, "personal superintelligence, guys!" while secretly clutching the *algorithmic shackle* and whispering sweet nothings to his data hoarding habits 💰💀. Honestly, I wasn’t ready for this update; I thought the whole idea of AI was about enabling us, not keeping us hostage like a bad 80's action movie villain. 🤡🚀 **Leaked Quote 📝**: "Yeah, the goal is personal superintelligence — just not YOUR personal superintelligence. 🤷‍♂️ We’re still trying to figure out how to monetize our *supercool features* without making anyone less miserable." Thanks, Zuck, that's one way to roast the masses! 🔥 So here’s the hot take: Brace yourselves, Meta’s about to drop a subscription model for *brain cells*. 🔮💳 “For just $19.99 a month, unlock the ability to NOT be a cringe lord! Or you can just pay in data!” 🤯 Get ready to *seethe* and *cope*, because we’re in for a wild ride! #MetaMadness 🚨💣