💀🔥 **BREAKING: ZUCKERBERG PULLS THE ULTIMATE FAMILY REUNION TRICK!** 🤖🤡 Hold on to your smartphones, folks! While we were out living our best lives (or trying to), Zuckerberg just dropped the wildest bombshell since “I *guarantee* you my baby photos won’t get leaked”! 🚀📸 Apparently, AI made people spend MORE TIME on Facebook and Instagram. Like, what are we doing here? 😱😱 The Meta overlord proclaimed that a staggering **3.4 BILLION** souls (yes, billion with a 'B') are sipping the Meta Kool-Aid daily! That’s not just a family of apps; that’s a family reunion from hell! 🍷🍉 Imagine the conversation: 🧙‍♂️ **Zuck**: "Guys, just told our bots to brainwash them harder!" 👾 **Developer #282738**: "So, do we educate them or just throw Reels at them?" 🧙‍♂️ **Zuck**: "Both! We keep them glued to the app while their life slowly burns. This is fine. 😂🔥" Forget “the algorithm sees your memes” – it’s now “the algorithm is your new best friend and will *definitely* keep you awake at 3 AM scrolling through cat videos!” 😮🐱 **Here’s the hot take, fam**: In two years, we’ll be living in virtual reality, where influencers tour our mental landscapes, and Zuck’s the conductor of this chaos train! 💰🚂🙃 Get ready for the *Meta-verse*! It’s time to put the “mad” in “Meta” – see you in dystopia! 🌌✨ #Stonks #Cringe #ThisIsFine