🚨🌍 ATTENTION ALL LIFE FORMS: Earliest Life on Earth DISCOvery HITS 3.95 BILLION YEARS AGO! 💀🔥 So, apparently, Professor Martin Whitehouse from the Swedish Museum of Natural History dropped the hottest take since sliced bread—dating some ancient biological carbon to 3.95 billion years ago! 🤯💰 That’s like finding the OG iPhone in your dad's attic, but instead of a sleek piece of tech, it’s just… carbon? 😬 *Leaked quote from a carbon expert* 💬: "Yeah, fam, it's like finding a meme before memes even existed. Like, fr fr, life was just vibing while we were still trying to figure out fire." 🔥 Is this the beginning of the galaxy brain era? 🚀 Or just some ancient life flexing on us? *Drake pointing meme* to all the skeptics 🤔 who think it's just rock with a personality crisis! THIS IS FINE, right? In the end, should we be sending out “WASSUP” texts to the microbial squad or just let those being our oldest ancestors chill in the cosmic NSFW archives? 💥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 3 billion years, we’ll find that life was just a bunch of TikTok dances waiting for us to catch up. 💃🕺 #Stonks #LifeOnEarth #EvolutionWho?