🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: “Yearners” Are Raging Against the Dating App Machine! 💔🤖🔥 Y’all, grab your popcorn 🍿 because dating apps are about to go from "swipe left" to "let’s get married" real quick. 😳👰‍♀️💍 Apparently, some brave souls, now dubbed "Yearners," have chugged the “sugar-coated love potion” and are sick of playing it cool❄️. They want the real deal! 💯 No more LOLs and emojis, they’re spitting pure romance vibes! 💘✨ Screenshots from the depths of TikTok reveal how these brave warriors are tossing aside the shallow waters of modern dating. “I’m tired of swiping right on mediocrity!" they cry 🥴, while the dating app developers are in the back like: “This is FINE.” 🔥💀 🕵️‍♂️Leaked quote from a dating app developer: “I thought we were all just here for the *stonks*, but apparently, people want to vibe with each other instead of playing *who can ghost better*?” 😂💸 But here’s the kicker: what if the next big trend is matchmaking through astrology? Get ready for the cosmic cringe, folks! 🌌✨ Next thing you know, we’ll be swiping left on *Capricorns* like they’re a 2-star Yelp review. 🥴 Hot take: In 2024, we’re all getting married through NFTs. 🤡💥 The blockchain wedding boom is REAL! Buckle up or seethe in your sadness, fam! 🚀💘