🚨🎉 BREAKING: X just kicked DMs to the curb like last week's expired milk! 😱🥛 Yeah, you heard that right! Say hello 👋 to Chat - the messaging experience that’s somehow both “E2EE” and “Wait, do we really need this?” at the same time. 🤔💥 File sharing? Video calling? Pfft, it’s like they looked at all the other apps and said, “How do we become the meme of every tech convo?” 🚀💰 This ain't a sleazy TikTok dance; it's a full-on cringe-fest! 🌪️📱 **Leaked Developer Quote:** "We just slapped a shiny new coat on the same old horse! 🐎💨 But it’s got disappearing messages, so it’s basically magic, right? *sips sad coffee* ☕️💔" Let’s not pretend we’re all vibing with this news, fam. This is 2023; we’re supposed to have chatbots that know our favorite pizza toppings, not Schlubby X trying to get into our lunch with *the same* flat meatloaf of features! 🤖🔥 💡 Hot take: In 3 months, everyone will be like “What’s an X Chat?” and the only ones using it will be stonks-holding boomers wondering why their memes still don’t hit. 📉👴💥 So, buckle up. This is gonna be a meme-laden event horizon! #ThisIsFine 🐶🔥