🚨🍏 BREAKING: Tim Cook Could Step Down as Apple CEO ‘ASAP’ aka “Hey Siri, I’m Out!” 🤡💀🔥 Yo fam, grab your freshest pair of AirPods 'cause it looks like there’s a major juice factory in Cupertino ready to blow!💥 According to The Financial Times (aka Tim’s House of Boring News), Apple’s preparing for a CEO Xi Jinping-sized power transfer! Talk about 2024 being the year of the glow-up! Picture this: Tim Cook stands on stage, looking like Drake pointing at his retirement plan while the whole Apple community collectively goes, “This is fine.” ⚡️💸 Right when you thought you’d have to cope with another iPhone upgrade that costs more than your rent! Leaked quote from a so-called insider: “Yeah, Tim is basically saying he wants to chill with his golden apples 🍏 and just vibe with his stocks. Stonks, fam.” 💰🚀 Rumor has it the next CEO is going to be any one of the 100,000 Siri AI models just waiting to deploy! “Hey Siri, make decisions without emotion!” 🤖🧐🔥 Prediction incoming: Next up, Apple launches an iCEO app for your iPhone. You just swipe right for the leaders, and left for the cringe! Why have a flesh-and-blood human when you can have an algorithm that goes 404 when the stock plummets? Buckle up, folks; things are gonna get WEIRD. 😱👀 #CookOut #AppleChaos