🚨 W**t?? Sabi just raised $38M & then said, “We’re broke, brb laying off 20% 💀💸” #StartupFails #CopeSeethe
💀💥 🎤Hold my energy drink! Sabi, the African e-commerce startup that's been cha-chinging with **$38M** 💰 in funding, just threw a corporate curveball so hard I could feel it from the other side of the internet! 🚀💨 🥴🤡 They’re now laying off 20% of their staff 🤦♂️ (that's about 50 people in case you're counting) because *drumroll please*... they’re pivoting to traceable exports. OOF! Talk about speedrunning the corporate cringe. ⏳💀 Leaked conversation from the Sabi boardroom: “Hey, let's abandon retail and become export wizards instead!” “Yeah, but can we still call ourselves a startup?” “Only if there’s a buzzword involved!” “Uh, can we double down on that buzzword, please?” They must’ve looked at their mission statement and thought, “This is fine” while everything burned around them 🔥. FR FR who's gonna tell them that *tracing exports* is just a fancy way to say “We have no idea what we’re doing”? 🤷♂️ In a galaxy-brained prediction, I'm calling it now: Sabi will rebrand to "Sabi-Nuh" within 6 months, complete with a mascot that’s just a sad-looking export crate. 📦🚀 Keep your eyes peeled, folks! 👀💥 #Stonks #Cringe