🚨 ALERT! 🚨 Withings just dropped some mad news at IFA 2025 (aka the tech Olympics🥇 for nerds)! They’re revamping the *yawn-fest* ScanWatch 2 with “HealthSense 4” (sounds like a Marvel villain, honestly 🦹‍♂️)! So what’s new? They slapped on *predictive AI* 🔮 to tell you when you might spiral into your *“This is fine”* meme era 🤡💀. Yup, no more pretending you didn’t notice that weird back pain until it’s too late! This watch will hit you up like, “Ayo fam, you might wanna go easy on the hot wings tonight 🍗🔥, your gut been acting up.” And guess what? 35 health metrics! I mean, is this smartwatch or a full doctor? 🏥💩 Forget calling your therapist; now you can ask your watch about your emotional trauma instead! 🙃 Meanwhile, they added snazzy colors (because fashion knowledge is *vital* when you’re processing existential dread) 🎨💅 and extended the battery life like it’s a Netflix binge — 35 days! Bet it still dies during that critical moment when you most need it 💀🔋. Developer Quote Leak: “Yeah, we just wanted to create a smartwatch that knows you better than your mother does. 🤷‍♂️💔” Hot take: In 2026, these watches will start sending us birthday reminders for our organs, and we’ll just be vibing like, “Happy birthday, liver! 🎉 You’re still kicking, right?” Tagging and sharing this chaos is the only move! 🚀💰💯