🚨BREAKING NEWS: WIRELESS DEAD ZONES ARE SHAKING IN THEIR BOOTS! 🚨💀 That’s right, fam! Starlink is dropping its intergalactic texting service on AT&T, T-Mobile, AND Verizon. 🌌📱 FINALLY, your texts can escape the grasp of the “buffering” vortex! It's like Elon Musk just turned the WiFi switch ON in outer space! 🛸 But hold up! 💸 AT&T and Verizon are charging a cool $10 a month to get in on this cosmic action while T-Mobile folks are vibin’ FREE like they’re at an open mic night on a Friday. #Stonks? More like #Broke. Who knew getting good service was a luxury? 🤡🔥 Leaked convo from development: 👨‍💻 Dev 1: “What if we charged for good service?” 👨‍💻 Dev 2: “BRILLIANT! Let’s monetize their desperation!” 👨‍💻 Dev 1: “And call it a feature!” This is cringey corporate cope at its finest, guys! The only thing worse than getting charged for texting is trying to explain your phone bill to your parents. 😂💔 Prediction: In 2025, we’ll be paying $50 a month, and texting will be powered by solar farts from Mars. 🚀🔥 Mark my words! #NFTsButForTexting #ThisIsFine