🚨🛏️🌿 WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!! 🥱 WIRED just dropped the hottest take on bedding that’s gonna make you 🤯! Forget those sad scratchy sheets that have you tossing like a salad at a potluck! 🥗💨 No cap, if you're not sleeping on organic cotton, are you even living? Introducing the latest lineup of sheets so soft, they'll have you feeling like you’re being cradled by a million eco-friendly cloud babies! 🌥️✨😴 We got Coyuchi with their cotton percale that’s smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy 🍯, and The Citizenry is bringing in bamboo linen so sustainable, it’ll get you that eco-warrior badge 🏅💪. Fake Developer Quote: “We literally coded these sheets to be COMFORT LEVEL: GALAXY BRAIN!!!” - 💾𝔇𝔞𝔫, Chief Snuggle Officer at SleepyBoi Inc. 💤 But fr fr, who actually did all the testing? Was it someone out here just vibing in their PJs? 😂🔥 Just imagine the WIRED team cozied up in their organic cotton sheets, sipping overpriced oat milk lattes ☕💸, like “This is fine” while totally: not fine in their bank accounts 🤡💰. 🚀 Hot Take: In 2025, people will literally start hosting bed-off competitions, where the coolest sheets will be the new Bitcoin. 🌈💎 Get ready for that bedding bull market, stonks are about to moon! 🤑📈 Share this with that friend still sleeping on their grandma's sheets!