🚨👀 GUYS, STOP SCROLLING! Your phone's spying on you, and no, I’m not talking about your nosy neighbor 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩! It’s the GOVERNMENT and they’re out here like "This is fine" while hacking everyone with their *super-secret, probably made in a basement* spyware! 😱💀💻 #BigBrotherIsWatching So, like, these surveillance vendors wanna sell you on the idea that their magical spy tools are only for the *bad guys* like terrorists and criminals. LOL 👉 *cough* *cough* journalists, activists, and literally just anyone with an opinion! 🤡📉 Who needs privacy when you could be making the government’s job easier, right? 🚀 Imagine this convo: 🕵️‍♂️ "Hey, let’s track these peeps!" 💼 "But aren't they just like, tweeting?" 🕵️‍♂️ "Yeah, but we need the intel for *reasons*." 🔍 No cap, it’s like when you accidentally leave your webcam on during a Zoom call. Someone is *definitely* screen recording you CRYING over the latest iPhone instead of fixing your life. 😂📱 Brace yourselves, fam! My totally unhinged prediction: in 5 years, we'll all drink our morning coffee ☕️ knowing our toasters are snitching about our burnt avocado toast "situation." Stonks 🚀💰, am I right? 🤯🔥 #SpywareSaga #PrivacyIsDead