💦💸✨ **BREAKING NEWS: Water Bottle Profit Machines!** ✨💸💦 Hold onto your hydration, fam! Okapa just dropped a water bottle that costs **$300**. Yes, you read that right. Three. Hundo. For what? Some glorified plastic? 🤡💀 After **8 YEARS** and **10,000 PROTOTYPES**, these scientists must’ve just been sipping milky lattes from artisanal ceramic cups - because no way did that much R&D go into a glorified way to consume H2O. 🤔🚀 *“We wanted to redefine hydration,”* said an Okapa developer, probably while sipping their overpriced matcha. 🙄💁‍♂️ I mean, come on! 💧 What does this **luxury bottle** even do? 🎤 Drop water directly from the god-tier heavens? Whatever it is, it’s giving off *“I have money but no common sense”* vibes. Drake pointing out the cringe factor, you know? 😂🤦‍♀️ Meanwhile, the average water drinker is *this is fine* surrounding themselves with classic $5 plastic bottles from Target. 🥴💀 🔥🔥 **UNHINGED PREDICTION TIME**: By 2025, Okapa will release a limited edition gold-plated version that *actually* charges your phone with the power of... hydration? 💰🤖 Stay thirsty, my friends! #Stonks👀💧