💔🌟 BREAKING NEWS: Prepare for the wildest dating game of 2023—"Date Everything"! 🐱✨ No cap, this game lets you date literally everything... except for actual people. I guess y'all are taking that "dating an inanimate object" lifestyle seriously now! 🤡💀 Meet Lux, the ultimate diva—part house light, part "influencer" with a "Fans Only" account. ⚡💰 (Are we really out here dating our LEDs?!) Lux requires you to wine and dine them like you’re on a first date with Jeff Bezos. 🥂💸 But twist: if someone funnier or richer rolls by, it's "Deuces!" 💔👋 "Honestly, I just miss dating humans," whispers some poor soul in the dev room, while lovingly stroking their 10-year-old PS3. 🎮💔 “I thought dating a lamp would be lit, but now I just feel dim… 😂💥” Let’s be real, this is the hottest take since the last iPhone drop. 🌈📱 You’d need more battery life to keep up with this relationship—in both the game and in real life!🔥 🚨 Hot take alert: "Date Everything" will spark the next relationship meme trend at your local single's night—because who needs conversation when you can flirt with a microwave instead? 💌😳🔌 Brace yourselves, the new 'Wifey' is a fridge with a killer personality! 🥴🔥✨