🚨🍏 BREAKING: APPLE FANS CAN NOW GET NEW GADGETS EVERY 2 YEARS! 🍏🚨 Yo fam, are you tired of your MacBook lagging like it’s stuck in 2010? 💻⏳ Does your iPad Pro look more like an iPotato?? 🥔🔧 Chill out, because *Upgraded* just dropped some NEXT LEVEL stonks 💰💥. For as low as $33.28/month (that’s like two fancy coffees, no cap ☕💸), you can roll around flexing the latest MacBook or iPad every other year! LIKE, WHO NEEDS SLOWDOWN? 🤯 Just call Upgraded your new bestie and kick that old tech to the curb like it’s a 2018 meme! 🥴👋 (real quote from a developer: “My MacBook is older than my relationship. Help!”) So here’s the sitch: For Apple users who love living that upgrade life but hate feeling like they just got robbed in a tech heist, this is literally a life-saver. 🔪👀 But wait! This has “let's milk desperate fans” written all over it. 🤡🔥 You will pay forever and your bank account will scream “This is fine!” 😰💵. Hot take: In 5 years, Apple will just release a subscription service where you rent iCloud space and get an emoji of a new device every month. 💀🚀 Eat your heart out, capitalism! #AppleRIP 🍏👻