🚨💔BREAKING: Whoop Unleashes the Blood Pressure Banshee!💔🚨 In a move that screams "FDA? More like FOMO!", fitness band maker Whoop just dropped a bombshell💣: they’re NOT disabling their blood pressure tracking tool, despite Uncle Sam's *very polite* request to hit the OFF switch. 🎛️🚫 Imagine the FDA sliding into Whoop's DMs like “Hey fam, let's not track blood pressure. It’s a vibe killer.” And Whoop's CEO likely responded with a well-deserved “No cap, we literally invented tracking your life force 😤💪” #Based. 😂💀 Sources close to the situation claim one developer was like, “The FDA wanted to keep it chill, but I said, ‘Nah, let's keep it spicy!’” 🌶️🔥 LOLZ! Whoop’s bravado is basically the healthcare version of when your homie tries to dive into the deep end of the pool without any floaties. 💦 But wait, it gets juicier: Whoop is requesting an *emergency meeting* with the FDA. Like, GURL, what do you think you are? Some kind of superhero for health data? 🤖🦸‍♂️ 🔥💵PREDICTION: Whoop is about to become the TikTok fitness influencer we never knew we needed. Blood pressure tracking tool takes off like the GameStop stonks 🚀📈 and we’re left finessing our health—while questioning our life choices. So, buckle up, fam! This is gonna be a wild ride! 🏋️‍♂️💥