🚨BREAKING NEWS: White House TikTok Drama Unfolds! 🚨💀 So, y'all remember when we thought TikTok was just a place for zoomers to dance their way into our hearts? Well, fasten your seatbelts, fam, 'cause Uncle Sam is taking the wheel on this chaotic train! 🚂💨 In a *totally normal* press conference 🤡, the White House just dropped the stonks on TikTok, and now we’re gonna have six out of seven board seats filled by Americans! 🎉 That’s more red, white, and blue than a BBQ on the Fourth of July. 🇺🇸🔥 And guess what? The TikTok algorithm will be U.S.-controlled! So instead of knowing what your ex had for dinner, we might get bombarded with "Made in America" ads of bald eagles soaring through the skies. 🦅🤠 *Drake pointing* at that algorithm change like, “You can keep that cringe content, fam, I’ll wait for the propaganda!” 😤 Leaked developer quote: “Honestly, how did we go from ‘Renegade’ to ‘Renegotiation’? I can’t even... 🤦‍♂️.” **Prediction:** In 2025 we’ll all be using TikTok to buy stocks in the latest government initiatives, and Congress will feature a dance-off on the House floor. 💰🚀🔥 It’s gonna be lit, but also *this is fine*!! 😂🔥 #TikTokTakeover #GovtGoals