🚨🦜BREAKING NEWS!🦜🚨 Forget meditation apps, fam! If you wanna unlock your third eye and *actually* be present, toss that "Zen Master" nonsense and download the **Merlin Bird ID App** instead! 🧘‍♂️✌️ Picture this: You’re chillin’ in the great outdoors, and instead of *breathing in and out like a very confused goldfish*, you’re all like, “OMG, is that a *Scarlet Tanager* or just a *Red-shouldered Hawk*?!” 🤯💭 Talk about high-key mindfulness, right? No cap! Now, who knew Cornell University wasn’t just serving up *eggheads*, but pure *hitlists for birdos*? With the Merlin app, you've got a WHOLE DATABASE of 800 million bird sightings – like Netflix for your eyeballs! 📱🍿🍃 Who’s gonna play “Birdwatching: The Ultimate Mindfulness Experience” when you can be a part-time ornithologist during your next coffee break? 🦅 “Yeah, dude, I thought I needed to meditate. Then I found out I could just stare at a *Blue Jay* and call it self-care,” said no developer ever, but I’m screaming it! 💀🔥 🔥 Hot take: Soon, we’ll be birding influencers, trading stock in *bird coins*, and meditating with parakeets! Catch me on TikTok, dropping wisdom like I’m Steve Irwin reincarnated! 🐊✨ #BirdGang #MeditationWho?