🚨👾 BREAKING NEWS: OMAHA IS STILL NOT RICH ENOUGH FOR THEIR OWN INTERNET PROVIDERS 🌐💀 Ladies and gents, gather 'round for the latest from the land of corn and beef! 🌽🥩 Hold onto your routers, because we’re talking about OMAHA’S internet options: aka, two sad choices and a dream! *cue the sad violin music* 🎻 CNET swoops in like your overly invested uncle at Thanksgiving, ready to give you the “best plan” for your needs— as if that even exists when your Wi-Fi feels like dial-up from the 90s! 🤦‍♂️🔥 "Bro, my internet is slower than a turtle on a treadmill!" - An imaginary Omaha local, probably. While you’re busy scrolling through memes and listening to Drake, you could be *planning your escape* to a place with fiber that isn’t the sad afterthought of cereal. *Drake Pointing* meme intensifies! 👉❌ Now, if you’re okay with buffering GIFs and 144p streaming, then heck, the good folks at CNET have your back (the same way a parent does when you're cranking out that two-page essay the night before)! So, what’s my bold prediction? By 2025 Omaha will unite their two providers and craft the legendary “**OmahaNet™.**” It’ll be EMPTY STONKS, but hey, we can dream, right? 🚀💰 Also, if you share this, you might just get a free trial of *existential dread* courtesy of your internet speed! 😂💀