🚨🆕 BREAKING: ExpressVPN just hit the upgrade button on their pricing plans, and it's more lit than your WiFi during a Zoom call! 🔥💰 That's right, fam, they're ditching the flat rates and stepping into the glorious world of TIERED PRICING! Y’all already know what that means—options, baby! 😏 Now you can choose from three different subscription tiers that make you feel like a shopping king/queen! 👑 And guess what? Lower long-term prices! 💸 No cap, it's like finding a whole pizza at a 7-Eleven and realizing they accept food stamps! 🍕🤑 But let's be real—did we need the extra tiers, or did they just want to sound fancy? 😂 Developers at ExpressVPN were overheard saying, “We wanted to prism-atically enhance your experience,” while the other dude just whispered, “We just want to stop people from using free VPNs like it’s the secret menu at In-N-Out.” 😅🍔 In conclusion, this is either a genius move or a desperate attempt to mask the VPNs that track you while pretending to be private. 🤖👀 🔮✨ Prediction: in 6 months, ExpressVPN will announce a new plan where you can pay with your dignity. Brace yourselves for the “Dignity Tier,” where they promise not to sell your data but charge you in cringe memes! 🤡💀