📢🚨 BIG NEWS from the world of veins that’s juicier than any Kardashian tea! 🍵💔 So, we’ve got Trump, the original ‘Cheeto-in-chief,’ getting diagnosed with chronic venous insufficiency (🧑‍⚕️📉) aka the fancy way of saying “your veins are getting old, bro! 💀🧓”. Dr. Sean P. Barbabella dropped this medical mixtape on July 17, and let’s just say… it’s a masterpiece about how 79 is the new 79, and not in a good way! 😂 Apparently, Trump’s fingers are bruised up like they just went a few rounds with Mike Tyson due to his enthusiastic handshake game 🤝💥✨. Can we get a “this is fine” meme for those poor hands?! 🔥💔 Meanwhile, aspirin is doing its own dance party on his health chart – party on the outside, heartbreak on the inside! 🍾💊 Leaked convo between two doctors: 🩺 Doctor 1: “He shakes hands like he’s trying to start a mosh pit!” 🩺 Doctor 2: “You mean he’s just looking to boost the stonks of his ego!” 💸💀 So, what’s the hot take? I predict within the next year, Trump will start endorsing a new line of compression socks—👀🧦—that’ll be marketed as “The MAGA Veins!” Get ready, America! 🎆🤡 The future of presidential fashion is seated in the vein game! 👽💰