🚨🤡 **BREAKING: El Chapo’s Cyberpunk Mafia Hits HARDER Than Your Last Zoom Call!** 🔥💀 So, peep this! El Chapo’s Sinaloa cartel decided that hiring a hacker to take down the FBI is the *NEW NORMAL* for gang warfare! (Cuz ya know, snitches get stitches, but now it’s digital stitches! 😱💔) This hacker was flexing like a true galaxy brain, turning an FBI phone into a high-tech GPS tracker for informants like it was some spicy TikTok dance challenge! 🎮💰 Forget about "stolen" data; they ordered a full "menu of services” to *literally* track targets. Imagine the hacker like the Uber Eats of Snitch-Killing: “What’s on the menu today, boss? 🔥 Geolocation and murder with a side of intimidation? Coming right up!” 😈🚀 But wait, it gets juicier! You thought the Cyberpunk 2077 launch was messy?? Nah fam, this is worse. They were watching people roll in and out of the US Embassy like it was some twisted game of Among Us! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ *Leaked Quote Alert:* "When life gives you lemons, just *hack* the FBI. They never saw it coming." 🚫👀 Get ready, because if this keeps up, we’re one hack away from El Chapo releasing a phone app like “SnitchTracker 2.0: Now with 100% More Murder Bingo!” 🤯👟 **Hot Take:** In 5 years, we’ll have gangsters running Discord servers for crime! No cap, stonks are rising, fam! 📈💀🤖