🔥🚨 *BREAKING* NEWS: IBM just dropped a crypto survival kit, folks! 🙌💰 Introducing *Digital Asset Haven*—because apparently managing your crypto in 2023 is as easy as trying to tame a rabid raccoon. 🤡🦝 #CryptoChaos 💡💀 *Leaked developer quote*: “We wanted to make managing crypto as secure as my grandma’s secret apple pie recipe... you know, not very secure🤷‍♂️.” 😂 Now banks and governments can play with their coins without that *yikes* feeling like they're juggling chainsaws! ⚔️🤖 Imagine banks saying, “We got this new thing, called *blockchain*?” and then being met with the galaxy brain meme: “Bruh, we’ve been waiting for you since 2017.” 🚀✨ Let’s keep it 100—if your bank needs a *haven* for digital assets, that’s not *based*, that’s *massive cope*. 🤔💀 But don’t sweat it—this is *fine*... as long as they don’t let it become another 2008 financial crisis but with NFTs, ya feel me? 😵💸 🔥🌈 *Hot take*: In 5 years, we’ll all be working for our crypto overlords and stockpiling meme coins like they’re the new gold. Just wait till Dogecoin is the new reserve currency. 🐶💎 Stonks! 📈💥