🚨🔥WELCOME TO THE FUSION FIASCO!🔥🚨 Ladies and gentlemen, grab your BURNER PHONES! 📱💥 We’re diving headfirst into the wild world of fusion startups where they’ve collectively raked in a staggering $7.1 BILLION. Yep, you heard me right—more cash than your crypto-addicted uncle has lost this year! 💰💀🤑 But let’s get real for a sec. 99% of fusion companies are just sitting around like that one dude at the party who pretends he’s deep in thought, but we all know he’s just thinking about the last slice of pizza 🍕🤔. Here’s a hot take straight from the mouth of an imaginary developer: “Bro, we raised $100M just to put some solar panels on a hamster wheel. No cap.” 🤡💀 *Cue Drake pointing meme* 💸📉 While the top dogs snag the cash, the rest are probably just praying to the nuclear gods that *something* happens before their funding dries up like my sense of hope during conference calls. And here’s a radical prediction: In 2030, we’ll all be using fusion-powered Tesla pogo sticks that exclusively play lo-fi beats. Buckle up, fam. 🚀🌌 Stay based or stay cringe!