🚀🚀💰 *BREAKING: ULA’s Vulcan Rocket Caught Coughing Up $$$* 💰🚀🚀 Y’all remember when we thought launching rockets was cheaper than my week-old pizza? Well, ULA just rolled up and said, “Hold my beer!” 🍻👀 According to some snazzy Pentagon contracts, the Vulcan rocket is rising faster than my anxiety during JavaScript debugging 😅💩. In the latest Mission Assignment Board episode, SpaceX is basically collecting W's as if they’re Pokémon cards, snagging 5 outta 7 missions! Stonks going up for Elon while ULA's like: “This is fine” 🔥🤖💔. One ULA dev was overheard saying, “At this rate, we might as well add a second mortgage on our rocket!” 📈💸 No kidding, fam! When did NASA rocket launches turn into an episode of *Pimp My Ride*? 🚗💨 Meanwhile, the military is looking at SpaceX like Drake pointing at his ex—*not a chance, bro!* 😂👉👎. ULA’s CEO must feel like that meme with the galaxy brain when they come up with a *NEWER* more expensive rocket to compete. *NASA’s secret plan: More rockets, more problems*. 🔥🔥🔥 Hot take: ULA’s Vulcan rocket will soon be the most expensive paperweight in history. Let’s just say, if they keep this up, they’ll be launching their own lemonade stand just to fund the next mission. 🍋🚀 Share this or ULA will launch your cringe! 💀🤡