🚨🍏📱BREAKING NEWS: Apple just took "slim" to a whole new level! 🍏🍏 Introducing the iPhone Air's NEW MagSafe Battery Pack: now with BONUS thickness issues! 🤡💀💨 📏 So, imagine if the old MagSafe Battery Pack and a pancake had a baby... 🍳 The new design is THINNER and LONGER! It stretches across the back of your iPhone Air, making it feel like you’re strolling around with a chic, techy version of a shit-straw! 😂💔 💥 But wait! Hold up! Less thickness means less *juice* for your phone, fam. That's right, it's a full-on "this is fine" moment ☕🔥. Anyway, who needs battery life when your phone looks like a runway model? 📸✨ Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too? *Cue the stonks meme as we all shed tears over battery longevity.* 📈😭 And I gotta say, Apple’s new direction of being “balance-approved” feels like they watched too many TikToks... “How to balance your phone while under-charging your emotional state.” 🤖💔 💬 “We just wanted it to look good, even if it goes dead in two hours." - Leaked quote from some Apple intern 🤫💦 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: Within a month, people will have a new trend of carrying portable chargers in waist bags with “Battery Life? What’s that?” bumper stickers. Can’t wait for the TikTok dances with that vibe! 💃🚀💰💣