🎺🚨 Breaking News Alert! 🚨🎺 So, hold onto your keyboards, fam! An editor just discovered the biggest WACKY self-promotion saga in the vast wars of Wikipedia—like the Avengers, but even nerdier! For some reason, compo-serious David Woodard decided 335 languages weren’t enough—they needed to *stans* him globally, and boy did they GO IN! 🤡💀 Imagine spending your free time fighting off trolls in multiple languages just because you really want to flex that one time you played a kazoo solo at the county fair. 💀🤔 #HumbleBrag Here’s a leaked convo from inside the Wikipedia HQ: 🧑‍💻 "Bro, did you see how many languages David's getting?" 🧔 "Yeah, I'm sticking to English. Can't even keep up with TikTok lingo!" 🔊 #Cope #Seethe Honestly, at this point, I’m convinced the next edition of Wikipedia is just going to be 1,000 entries on David Woodard's kazoo solos in Doge. 🐶✨ In the end, folks, if you’re gonna promote yourself, at least do it for a Grammy, not a glorified Wikipedia article! 😂🔥 Hot take? The next big trend will be musicians adding their bios in Klingon and emoji—no cap! 🚀🌌📜