🚨🔒 **BREAKING NEWS (but like, who asked?!?)** 🚨🔒 So there’s this new hacking shenanigan where cyber villains are using the dark web like it’s their personal playground to DEGENERATE your precious crypto 💰🔥. Yup, you guessed it—TOR is now playing host to cryptojacking that’d make even Loki jealous! 🤡 According to our pals at Akamai (who definitely don’t just chill on the internet all day), these hackers are guzzling down resources by exploiting *misconfigured Docker APIs* like they’re free samples at Costco! 😳🍕 The chances you’ve misconfigured your Docker API? Higher than you think, fam! This isn't even a "This Is Fine" meme moment—it's a full-on fire sale! 🔥💀 You best believe that trend is going to stick around like a classic cringe TikTok dance move. 💃 **“We thought it was just a coding error, but now I’m considering a new job as a hacker,”** said a *totally real* developer who just wanted to enjoy his coffee without being hacked. ☕💀 Hot Take: At this rate, I’m convinced Docker will soon launch a new marketing initiative—“Docker: Where Even Your Security Can Be Configured Wrong!” Let’s face it, with these kinds of breaches, your next tech conference is just going to be a "how to cope with your life’s failures" seminar. 😂💔 Stonks? More like NO stonks! 🚀 In conclusion: Get your Docker game tight or prepare your best facepalm. Happy hacking! 🤖💥