🔥✨ BREAKING: This Stuff is BETTER than Super Glue! (But What Isn't? 🤔💀) Gather around, glue gang! 👥💥 You thought super glue was the GOAT? Nah fam, it’s playing in the kiddie pool while this new stuff is diving into the DEEP END, like Elon on the Mars mission! 🚀🔥 So, apparently, ZDNET went all Sherlock Holmes on us—spending HOURSSSSSSS on testing and research like they were prepping for the greatest Netflix documentary nobody asked for. 🎥🔍 You know their motto: “This is fine” when they realized nobody actually *cares* about glue?! 🙃💔 👀 Developer says: “We spent more time on research than my last relationship. It’s messy but now we’ve got the receipts!”😂💅 But fr fr, this new miracle stick is like the *Stonks* meme for adulting—just slap it on and watch your life *not* fall apart! 💰💪 Can’t wait for the inevitable TikTok challenge: “Can YOU break it??” 😂 Unhinged prediction: 2024 is the year of the *glue-off*! 🤡💥 Companies will be battling for the ultimate title of “Best Not Super Glue” and I can already smell the desperation! 👀💀 Seethe, cope, and glitter bomb 'em all! 💖✨💣 Share this before it *glues* itself in the void of boring tech news! 💥✌️