🔥😱💀 BREAKING NEWS! The CMF Watch 3 Pro just dropped and it's the fitness hype beast we never knew we needed but still don’t want! 🤡💅💪 For just $99, you can strap an AI coach to your wrist and pretend to be fit during your weekly treadmill sessions. 131 SPORTS MODES, but can it binge-watch Netflix? No? Cringe! 🥴📺 👀 But wait, there's more! With *DUAL-BAND GPS* (what is this, a satellite or a smartwatch? 🤔), you can finally stop getting lost on your jogs and embarrassingly explain to strangers that you "actually meant to run that way!" 🚀🏃‍♂️💨 Not to mention the heart rate sensor that’s “improved across all skin tones” 🏳️‍🌈💖—because Nothing knows better than to market fitness watches like they’re making a skincare routine. *"We wanted to help everyone get swole 😤,"* says a *leaked* Nothing developer who was obviously sipping on a protein shake during the team meeting. So go ahead and get your 'entry-level fitness level' up; the AI coach will have you running marathons in no time (or at least running to the fridge 🥴🍕). **Hot take**: In 2025, we'll all be wearing smart fridges that tell us when to drink water. #Futurism 🤖💰💥