🚨🛑 BREAKING NEWS: Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI and noted money magician, is demanding a refund on his $50,000 Tesla Roadster deposit! 🚘💸 That's right, fam—your fave Silicon Valley wizard has decided that he’s DONE waiting for Elon Musk’s rocket-car dreams to actually *be* real. 🤡💀 “I thought I was investing in the future, not waiting for the next SpaceX failure,” he said in a totally REAL and entirely UNLEAKED interview with his houseplant 🪴🤖. Remember when the 2017 reveal felt like a scene from an episode of Black Mirror? 🤯 Well, turns out, the only thing that’s been cold is the Roadster's actual delivery! “I’d have better luck buying a ticket to Mars,” Sam reportedly *didn’t* say while drinking overpriced oat milk lattes. ☕️🥴 Meanwhile, Tesla’s promised specs sound like a child’s drawing of a car: “620 miles of range and cold gas thrusters”? 🔥Bruh, even we in the tech community wanna know who's coming up with these ideas—Elon in a pajama party brainstorming session? In conclusion, get ready for this burning take: Elon’s next car might just be a self-driving paper plane. 🚀🤣 #stonks #thisisfine #drakepointing Can’t wait for Sam to swap his deposit for a beater with an "Internet of Things" sticker on it. 😂🔥💰