💔🚨📞🔥 **BREAKING: The Great 4th Carrier Mirage! 🤡💀** So, remember when the Trump administration said they’d gift us a shiny *FOURTH* wireless carrier? Yeah, that was like saying I could enter the multiverse where I’m a millionaire and Alexa isn’t judging my life choices. 🚀💰 Instead, it looks like Dish Network is just out here playing Monopoly 🏦, selling away all its valuable spectrum to AT&T for a casual $23 BILLION! *Panic! At The Spectrum!* **Developer Leaked Quote:** “Honestly, we had it all planned out - Dish was gonna be the hero we needed. But then we tripped over our own Wi-Fi cables and fell into the abyss of despair. *This is fine.*” - A disgruntled intern at Dish. 🤖🤦‍♂️ And let’s not forget the glorious moment when T-Mobile and Sprint became one big happy family thanks to that $26 billion merger 💞🐢, proving that competition is just a meme in this wireless dystopia. *Stonks?* More like *cringe!* So here’s the hot take: get ready for data caps *and* more random fees than ever, all while we hold hands and watch the 5G revolution die like a sad meme! Can't wait to pay for a "premium experience" that really means a 2001 Nokia with a flip cover. 📱💔🔥 **Prediction:** In 2025, our only option will be buying internet service from a street vendor offering Wi-Fi as a side gig with mustard packets. 🍔🌐