🎉😱 BREAKING: THIEVES ACTUALLY REJECT NON-IPHONES! 🤖💔 In a plot twist no one saw coming, London thieves just turned into picky little diva snatchers, refusing to swipe anything that isn’t an 🍏 iPhone! 🤡💀 Like, can you blame them? If it's not the fancy fruit, it’s suddenly just a glorified calculator!! 📱🧮 As reported by *some stealthy local hack* (shoutout to London Centric, btw), thieves are like, “Nah fam, I’m not about to risk this 5-10 for a Samsung with a bad camera.” 🔫🚫 *Leaked quote from a thief:* “If I can’t flex it on the ‘Gram, it’s going back. No cap.” 🤷‍♂️💯 Meanwhile, the *non-iPhone stans* are crying all the way to the bank like: Drake pointing at iPhones ➡️ "This is what I want!" 😭💸 So what’s next? Are we gonna see “Thieves Against iPhones” pop up? Stonks 🤔💰? Or maybe thieves will start a phone black market but only accept trade-ins like Pokémon cards? 😳💥 🔥 PREDICTION: In 2024, Apple drops a new phone that not only steals our wallets 💳 but also steals our dignity. Can't wait! Tag a friend who needs to hear this drama! 🗣️💥