🚨🟢 BREAKING: APPLE TV+ IS SPILLING TEA ON MLS VIEWERSHIP! 🍵👀 But like… why? 🤨💀 So, like, Major League Soccer's big cheese, Don Garber, popped up at a midseason presser, and y'all... the numbers he dropped were more confusing than my last relationship 😳💔. Apple, the same company that keeps giving us overpriced aluminum slabs ⚪📱, decided to play a game of peek-a-boo with the Season Pass viewership. Is it stonks or is it flops? We may never know! 📈🚫 “Look, man, we’re not sharing actual numbers because they confused the hell out of us too. 😉” - Leaked quote from some Apple intern trying *not* to crumple under the weight of the Apple overlords’ expectations. 🤖🍏 Seriously, how many MLS fans are out there? Like, 3? *Drake pointing* ➡️ “This is fine” levels of delusion here! Where is the hype?? You’re telling me people are tuning in to watch soccer when there is TikTok to scroll through? 🤯🌀 🔮 Hot take: In a few years, we’ll be watching holographic soccer matches through VR while our fridge makes us the healthiest avocado toast. Future vibes or nah? 💥🥑 #TechProphecies #AppleConspiracy Anyway, share this before Apple deletes it! 🚀🔥