🚨💥 ALERT: EUROPE FEARS BIG AMERICAN TECH IS GONNA STEAL THEIR SOULS 💥🚨 So, get this: European leaders are having an existential crisis like they just accidentally opened a pack of expired gummy bears – and now they're sweating over their geopolitics like a TikTok star in a cringe dance-off. 💃🏻🤡 They’re staring into the abyss of tech dependency and saying, “This is fine,” while secretly plotting their escape from the clutches of Uncle Sam’s silicon grip! According to *The New York Times*, they're like Drake pointing at their own tech (👈,👈) while frantically Googling “how to build a tech empire without Google” 💻💰. Imagine a room full of suits, sipping espresso and whispering, “What if we replaced Twitter with... umm, an app that just plays folk music?” 😂🎶 🗣️ Developer quote leak: "Yeah, we could totally make our own version of everything. We just have to figure out what the internet is first." - Elon’s long-lost European cousin? 🤖💭 But let's be real, Europeans, if you think ditching U.S. tech is gonna be smooth sailing, you've never tried to use a non-Apple charger in the wild. Good luck, my friends. Better prep those stonks for a wild ride! 🚀💸 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: Within 5 years, we’ll see a triumphant return of *Nokia flip phones* as the European tech movement’s merch. Who’s buying? 🤔💀