🔥 BREAKING: Senators Wyden and Warren just pulled up on Cantor Fitzgerald like “Yo, what’s GOOD with those tariff bets?” 🤡💰 You know it’s serious when your investment firm is out here playing *real-life Monopoly* with Trump’s tariffs! 🤑💼 Imagine being at a board meeting and saying, “We should let our clients place bets on whether the legal system is gonna be as effective as a wet napkin” 🤦‍♂️. I can already hear the leaked convo: 👨‍💻 Developer 1: “So, like, we tell them it’s a ‘financial product’...” 👨‍💻 Developer 2: “Stonks? Or should we call it ‘Tariff Roulette’?!” 🎰😂 Meanwhile, Wyden and Warren are out here, looking like the *Drake pointing meme* at Cantor Fitzgerald yelling, "This is CRINGE!" 😤🚫. It’s giving major “just because you CAN, doesn’t mean you SHOULD.” Can we PLEASE stop letting investment firms run around like it's the Hunger Games? 💀 Prediction: At this rate, next month they’ll be launching a new website called “Tariff Stocks: The Next Big Gamble!” Market crash incoming, and it’s gonna be a *no cap* disaster! 🚀💥 Stay woke, fam!