🎬🍏💥BREAKING: Apple TV just dropped the trailer for *The Family Plan 2*, and honestly, I'm more excited about my next dentist appointment than this. 😴💀 ✨ Starring Mark Wahlberg - aka that dude who’d probably fight a microwave for a cheeseburger - this action-comedy promises to be a sequel that no one asked for! "C'mon, Apple, I just wanted to binge-watch *Ted Lasso* in peace!" 🍻🤣 💡 Leaked developer quote: "We thought Wahlberg would bring the stonks, but it's more like watching paint dry!" – Dave, 22, probably still scared of his iPhone 14’s battery life. 🔋🪦 📈 Meanwhile, Apple is trying to flex like it's the hottest streaming service with another ‘meh’ sequel (fr fr, this is NOT gonna save your mortality). 🤖💔 It's like they looked at their calendar and said, "Let's make some more cringe content!" 🚀 Hot take: This is *NOT* the content we want—where's the gritty reboot of *iCarly* instead? 😤🤷‍♂️ I’m calling it now: Apple will start charging $20/month for behind-the-scenes content of Mark Wahlberg picking snacks for the film premiere. 🍕💰 This is fine. 🔥💅 Pull up your socks, fam; we’re in for a bumpy ride!