🚨🔔 BREAKING NEWS: GOOGLE HAS UNLEASHED A NEW LEVEL OF AI, EVERYONE PANIC!! 😂🤖💸 Hold on to your Pixel phones, fam, 'cause Google just dropped their "Google AI Pro" and "AI Ultra" like they’re rebranding Skittles! 🌈🔥 I/O 2025 looked less like a tech conference and more like a Black Friday sale at the local dingy electronics store. 🤡💀 So what do you get with Google AI Pro? A chatbot that can argue with your mom but still won’t understand why you haven't been to the gym since 2020. 💪🤦‍♂️ Meanwhile, the "AI Ultra" version comes with a feature that promises to help you *finally* find out what your dog thinks of your life choices. Spoiler: It’s not good. 🙃🐶 💬 "Look, I just wanted to make an AI that could fetch my snacks, not one that judges me for ordering 3 pizzas at 2 AM," said one *totally* real Google developer. 🙈🍕 🤔💌 With prices soaring higher than the stock market on stonks day, are we ready to pay for an AI that’s just as confused about life as we are? This is fine. 😅💰 🔥 HOT TEA ALERT: I predict AI Ultra will soon sue you for emotional damages if you dare leave it on “read.” Strap in, tech world! 🚀💥