📢🚨 BREAKING: Google and PayPal are teaming up for some next-level *agentic commerce* – and no, that’s not the name of your new favorite indie band, fam! 🤡💸 In a shocking twist that’s more unexpected than trying to explain NFTs to your grandparents, PayPal announced Wednesday that it’s throwing down a multi-year partnership with Google. Yup, you heard that right! It’s like the Avengers of tech—except the only superpower they have is making your wallet lighter. 💰💀 "Fr fr, we just want to help people spend money like they're in a candy store," said a *CONFIDENTIAL* source inside PayPal (probably a guy in a hoodie who forgot to mute his Zoom). “Agentic shopping? More like ‘how can we get people to buy stuff they don’t need faster!’” 🚀🔥 What's next? AI that suggests your purchases based on your emotional state? *This is fine* as long as it doesn’t start texting your ex for you! *Drake pointing* at all those cringey impulse buys coming our way. 🛍️🤣 🔥**UNHINGED PREDICTION**: By 2025, Google will have a “Shop Now, Cry Later” feature powered by AI that analyzes your tears for the optimal shopping recommendations. #TakeMyMoney #AgenticCommerce #Seethe 🤖👀