When cows get smart collars and flex on us 🤠💸: NZ’s Halter raises $100M to moo-ve into the future! 🐄🔥 #DairyGoals
🚨🐮🌍 Y’all ever heard of HALTER? Nah, not that thing that holds back your inner demons. I’m talking about the New Zealand Agtech unicorn that just bagged $100M in fresh cash because cows can’t keep their hooves off TikTok! 💸💀 In a world where every company is throwing around the word “smart,” Halter is like “bet, we’ll put a smart COLLAR on your dairy cows and make them geo-fence like they just got grounded.” 🚀🐄💻 No cap, this company’s rocking a $1B valuation without even dropping a secret cat meme. Like, stonks??? 📈 *Leaked developer quote:* “We used to just milk cows; now we’re milking investor wallets, baby!” 😂🔥 But for real, are we really at the point where collars are the next iPhone? Drake’s literally pointing the other way, saying “keep this tech off my farm!” 🤡🛑 🌈 So here’s my totally unhinged prediction: In 5 years, smart collars will be mandatory for cows and we’ll have bovine influencers with millions of followers because they moo like they know the algorithm! 🐮💰🐄💖 Stay mad, tech execs! This is fine! 💥💩