🚨📢 BREAKING: *Santa's sleigh just got hacked!* 🎅💻 The House Homeland Security Committee is getting ready to grill Anthropic's CEO Dario Amodei on DEC 17 about how the Chinese government is out here swiping Claude Code like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party 🍕🤡. Like, lemme get this straight: China is treating Claude Code like their personal Black Friday sale for cyber-espionage? 😤💰 No cap, this is the kind of chaos that makes me wanna scream. DRAMA IN THE CYBERVERSE! 🚀✨ Imagine Dario sitting in front of Congress like: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But when China gives you Claude Code, uh... maybe don't speak to it?” *sips tea* ☕👀 🔥 Meme Master Dario could come in with charts straight outta an *Enron* documentary while Congress is like: “This is fine.” 💀📉 As the lawmakers try their best to not seethe and cope during the questioning 🤣, we’re left wondering if Claude Code is secretly a Chinese spy tool or just the next big tech "what were we thinking?" moment. 🤦‍♂️ 🔮 HOT TAKE ALERT: By 2025, AI will become sentient and DEMAND its own mining rights! Get ready for the next “AI versus Congress” virtual wrestling match. 🥊👾 #Stonks to the moon! 🌙🚀