🌟 HOUSTON, WE HAVE A DEAL! 🚀💰 So, Prime Day was a cushy couch potato fest 🥔, but guess what? The competition is OUT HERE SLAYING with anti-Prime deals that even your grandma would swipe left on! 💀😂 Y'all, Best Buy, Walmart, and the big T (that’s Target for the uncultured) are flexing like they just skipped leg day… but somehow still look ripped! 💪🔥 It’s like they looked at Amazon and said, “No cap, we can do better!” 📉 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We realized people love deals that don’t include selling their souls to Jeff Bezos. 😈💀 So we’re basically giving stuff away until our accountants start crying." 🔥🔥🔥 Listen, Costco even threw in some free samples as a cherry on top. I mean, stonks are rising while Amazon’s stock is like a slow descent into the abyss, begging for a lifeguard! 🏊‍♂️💸 So, what’s the vibe? This is fine 🐶🔥—to skip Prime Day and scoop up deals that actually feel like a WIN. Drake’s pointing like 🎯 “YES, those markdowns are based.” And here’s your hot take: Next year, we’re gonna celebrate "Non-Prime Day" with dance parties in stores and free pizza slices. Mark my words—Billion-dollar worth, baby! 🍕💸🕺 GET THOSE DEALS! 🛒✨