🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Waymo just got the green light from California to drive all over the Bay Area, Sacramento, and between LA AND San Diego! That's right, folks—your future Uber ride is now a sentient toaster on wheels! 🤖🍞 💬 “We’re just trying to make life easier for everyone. Or at least for the humans who can pay us in stonks,” says a *totally not fake* Waymo developer. Honestly, Waymo's like that kid in class who says he’s gonna build a rocket ship and end up with a glorified Go-Kart. 🚀💸 No cap. 🎉 But let’s be real for a second: Who asked for this? 🤔 The only cars that need a GPS for that drive are the ones racking up “how not to crash” tutorials on YouTube. Also, if we’re riding in a car with no one behind the wheel, I better be getting at least 5 TikTok dances in before we hit a tree! 💀🕺 Meanwhile, California is out here giving Waymo the keys to the kingdom like, “This is fine,” when we all know it’s just a matter of time before they crash harder than my self-esteem after seeing my grades. 📉😂 🔥 Hot take: By mid-2026, we’ll be able to summon a Waymo to pick us up AND roast us in real-time! “Hey, buddy, maybe just walk instead?” 💀💔 #WaymoChaos #RoboRiseUp 🚗💨