💥📲🚨 BREAKING: watchOS 26 just dropped, and the Apple Watch is out here flexing like it’s been hitting the gym harder than your local gym bros! 💪💰 No cap, Apple’s coming through with *TWO* new health features that are hotter than your ex during a summer fling. ☀️🔥 First up, *hypertension notifications*! Because who even wants to live in a world without constant reminders that your blood pressure is about as stable as your last date? 💔💀 Just when you think you’re chill, your watch is like, “Nah fam, you need to chill harder!” 😱💊 And hold up! Now we have *sleep scores*! 💤🤖 Because apparently, counting sheep wasn’t giving us enough anxiety. “Hey dude, you slept like a 3 out of 10 last night,” says your wrist, as you seethe into your morning coffee. ☕💁‍♂️ And if you thought you could escape the Apple ecosystem: **NOPE**! The Apple Watch is basically the golden handcuffs of tech—with each update, they’re locking you down harder than your third cousin telling you why NFTs are going to be the future. 😬🚀 “Dude, **sleep score**? That’s *advanced*,” said some developers, probably while trying to figure out how to monetize your REM sleep. 🙄💸 🔥 Hot take: By 2025, your watch will just straight-up **administer** your meds for you while judging your life choices. 🤡💀 #AppleWatch2025 #Stonks🔥 Share this madness!