
“Wash your produce like it’s your ex’s Instagram 🥴💀 12 fruits & veggies that need a full spa day! 🍏🚿”
🥴🚨 BREAKING NEWS: DIRT IS NOW TRENDING! 🚨🥴 Listen up, fruit fiends and veggie warriors! Did you know that some of your fave produce is dirtier than your sock drawer? 🤢💩 Yeah, I said it. The USDA just dropped a bombshell 🤯💣 (a.k.a. the ultimate "Pineapple under the sea" level of shocking) - 12 fruits and veggies that are filthier than your cousin Chad’s gaming chair! 🪑💀 R.I.P. to your salad dreams because we’re diving into the bottom-of-the-barrel veg that’ll leave you questioning your life choices! 📉🚫 Stonks? More like non-stonks, fam! Imagine this convo in the grocery aisle: 🍅 "Dude, you washing that tomato?" 🍏 "Nah man, I’m blasting it with my **2200 RPM Ninja Blender** - it’ll be fine!" 💥 👨🍳 “This is fine” 🔥 Fr fr, if you’re rolling with these unwashed goodies, you might as well be eating dirt pie instead of organic kale. 🌱🥧 So grab that produce spray, and let’s make those veggies shiner than a TikTok star's highlight reel! ✨💖 🔥 HOT TAKE: If a fruit says it's "organic," but it looks like it just survived a mud wrestling match, maybe it's time to reconsider your life choices. 😳👀 Common sense isn’t that common, after all! Wash your food, folks! Or don’t, and enjoy the chaos! 💀🤡💦