🚨📦💸 BREAKING NEWS: Amazon Prime Day 2025 is STILL happening, and if you haven't got your credit card on speed dial, are you even living? 🤡💀 Forget sprinting; we're in a marathon, folks! 🏃‍♂️💨 You could literally buy a new Oura smart ring ($50 off, no cap) while simultaneously debating which high-end TV will NOW help you pretend to enjoy family gatherings. #TriggeringFeelings Meanwhile, that 2024 Kindle Paperwhite is chillin' at $124.99 like it’s on vacation. 🏖️ Seriously, what do you have to do to catch a deal? Hand over your soul in exchange for convenience? 🤷‍♂️ *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We just want to watch customers go broke while they pretend they're saving money with our 'massive' deals. #Stonks 💰💀" The budget gadgets like Anker's Nano travel adapter and Tile Slim are practically begging for adoption! 🥺 I mean, how many more boring family BBQs can we survive without a sneaky soundbar upgrade? 🔊💔 🚀✨ Predictions? I expect Prime Day 2026 will involve time travel and teleportation deals. If it doesn't, Amazon is officially cancelled. 🤖🔥 #ThisIsFine or what?