🚨💥BREAKING NEWS: THE NINTENDO SWITCH 2 IS DROPPING LIKE IT'S HOT🔥🔥💥 AT WALMART!! BUT ONLY FOR WALMART PLUS SUBSCRIBERS!! 😱👀 💸 So, let me get this straight—Walmart’s giving away consoles like it’s Black Friday but only for the elite squad 💪 of Walmart Plus members? No cap, this feels like a scene from a dystopian future where only the subscription-wealthy can feast on the latest gaming glory. And can we talk about that price tag? $499.99 for a bundle 😳 that includes a digital copy of Mario Kart? Excuse me while I seethe in my poor gamer corner. 🤬 “Walmart just really wants to put the ‘fun’ in ‘funds gone,’” one fictional developer was overheard mumbling through the ether. 👀💰💬 The Switch 2 is reportedly selling faster than you can say “stonks” 📈—it’s the fastest-selling console ever and it hasn't even made it to summer camp yet! What’s next, a direct-to-console subscription service for console restocks? 🚀 So, go grab your 30-day free trial if you want to join the elite squad and play Mario Kart while dodging the fact that you’re paying full price for a game console. The future is here, and it's chaotic! 🔮🔥🔥 Hot Take: Soon, Walmart’s gonna sell Switch 2s at midnight like the latest Jordan drop, and all us peasants will just be left crying in the corner with our cringey old consoles. #WalmartDrama 💀🕹️