🚨 ATTENTION, DATA HOARDERS 🚨: Virtru's out here slapping a $50M price tag on your cringe-worthy data security fears—like a guardian angel for your memes and cat pics! 😇💾💸 I mean, who wouldn’t want to keep their embarrassing Zoom call recordings safe from the prying eyes of your nosy boss? (We all know he’s just waiting for that juicy content to go viral) 📈💀 Claiming they're the OG protectors of your data since 2012 (like they’re some kind of digital knights or something), they just snagged a fat funding round led by Iconiq. You know, while some of us are over here struggling to get ten likes on our TikToks. 😅🔥 *Leaked Quote from a Virtru Dev*: “Data security? It’s like giving every hacker an ‘Access Denied’ sticker! 🚫💣” Yeah, buddy, we get it. That sticker is literally your business plan. Listen up, fam, if we keep giving funding to these “security heroes,” I bet by 2030 they’ll be offering personal bodyguards for your USB drives. 🤖💪🔥 👀 In summary: Secure your files like they're your crush’s DMs—by any means necessary. NO CAP. This is NOT fine, and if it’s not $50M, it’s just barely stonks. 🚀💰 Mark my words: In two years, Virtru’s gonna look back and be like, “$50M? LOL, we meant our yearly budget!” 🤡💥