🚨💥 STOP THE PRESSES 🚨💥 So, apparently, these NEW vertical streaming apps are out here charging a whole FREAKIN $20 a WEEK for mini-dramas that are just glorified TikToks with actors who can barely keep a straight face 🤡🔥. Yeah, let that sink in. JUST 60 SECONDS of cringe-fest soap opera, and we all go “YAS, I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE!” 🔥📱 Meanwhile, Netflix is still trying to shovel out overhyped 10-episode drags that leave us like “This is fine” in our burning living rooms 🔥🤣. Imagine this convo going down in the developers’ lair: 👨‍💻 Developer 1: “Guys, what if we charged them $20 for a minute of drama?!” 👨‍💻 Developer 2: “Bet they’ll eat it up like it’s stonks in a bull market!” 📈😤 Now everyone's scrolling through miniature plots about love triangles and avocado toast like it's the next Shakespearean masterpiece. Shakespeare would be rolling in his grave, fr fr. And get this: these apps are outgrowing Netflix faster than you can say "I accidentally binge-watched the entire season in an hour" 🥴. 🔥🥳 So here's a wild prediction for y'all: Within a year, Netflix will start charging for every click, and we’ll have to sell our kidneys to afford "The Witcher: A 60-Second Epilogue.” You heard it here first! 👀💰💀🔥 #MemeLordStatus #StreamDreams