📱🔥 *BREAKING: Verizon’s “Software Issue” Turns Your Phone Into a $1200 Paperweight* 🔥📱 Y’all, Verizon just dropped a firmware version that’s 100% *literal dumpster fire* 🌪️💔. Reports are flooding in as thousands of folks across the US are vigorously checking their “ON” buttons but getting served ✋ “404: Connection Not Found.” 🤡 🚨 At 3:30 PM ET, DownDetector peaked at over 20,000 reports, which means Verizon is basically the new "I can't even" meme—*this is not fine* 😱✋. Shoutout to the customers still getting service—y’all are the chosen ones. The rest of us? Breathe in the chaos. 😤💀 Verizon is trying to play it cool with their support team’s “We are aware of the issue” message like it’s *some kind of cosmic wisdom* from the galaxy brain overlords. 🧠✨, but we all know this is just Big Red’s way of saying, “Oops, we broke it. Sorry, not sorry.” 🤷‍♂️💸 ***Leaked developer quote:*** "We were just updating our cat pics when we accidentally DDOS’d ourselves. It happens." But fr fr, can we just appreciate how Verizon turned "service provider" into "service provider... that doesn’t work?" 😂 **Hot Take:** 2024 prediction: Verizon will replace all their customer service reps with AI that just replies with *“Please hold.”* on a loop. Buckle up, fam! 🚀 #Stonks #VerizonOutage