📣🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* - IT’S FEE SEASON AT VERIZON! 🎉📈💸 Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your overpriced phones because Verizon just ghosted your budget again! 💀😱 Remember that “three-year price lock” they promised? 😂 Well, surprise! They managed to make your phone bill look like it just time-traveled from 2019 and resurrected from the grave! Just in time for spooky season! 👻📱 So, here’s the tea: 🥤 Verizon's spokesperson (aka, *The Chosen One*, Adria Tomaszewski) dropped a bomb saying that prices are going UP, but they’re “totally chill” about it because it’s less than 30 cents for most peeps. 🤔 *DRAKE POINTING* to that “Administrative and Telco Recovery Charge”? It’s only going up 28 CENTS to $3.78! *Swoozzie* is rolling over in his grave! 💰💀 Oh, but wait! Data plans are about to get smacked harder than your ex’s ego with a +$2.37 increase! 😂🔥 And you thought your Wi-Fi was slow? Now your wallet is going to be on a diet. #Cringe Leaked Developer Quote: “We’d raise it more, but we’re not trying to evoke the full-on *this is fine* dog meme!” 🐶🔥 📅 *Hot Take Prediction:* Within 3 months, Verizon will announce a new “Premium Recovery Experience” fee of $10/month for supporting their “debt recovery” from your empty bank account. 😬💫 *Stonks? More like *HONE-ED STONKS!* Get ready to seethe and cope, fam! Verizon just made your bill the real-life version of a high-speed chase — full of drama and a lot of “W